i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Green mimosas i think yes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
