i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
