I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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