remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
