He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I still have a little drunk in my system
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
