dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
