So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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