I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
