i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
