I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
