i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
