If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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