We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
