We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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