I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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