Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
