i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
