My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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