I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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