Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
