dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I smell stomach acid.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
