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Fuck
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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