All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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