she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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