No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
