Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need moral support for this bender
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
