what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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