I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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