Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
