Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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