are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
