Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
