thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
