Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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