Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
