he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
