Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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