My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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