Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
