Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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