hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
