My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
