scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
