i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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