Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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