I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Congratulations! We have a period
You did what with his pubic hair?
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