you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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