I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
