what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
