I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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